On Having Cats

Photo Caption:
An aviary I saw built on an apartment balcony.

Brushing away the cobwebs in my mind. Speaking of which, yesterday while sitting at my computer, something bit me on the back of my thigh, and now I have a big swollen area. I'm guessing a tiny spider. Hope I was tasty. Some people definitely attract more biting insects than others. Human bait I guess. (Like fish bait only we attract insects).

Not sure what I want to do today. It's a Tuesday so I can't blame my blahs on Monday.
I kept dreaming I accidentally drove into a parking structure and they wanted me to pay $20 to drive back out.

Here comes the cat. I guess he's going to help me type. He must have heard me open the window and he wants to sit up there.
I was giving my other cat his liquid medicine this morning when he threw back his head and it all dribbled down his chest.

I really need to clean off my side desk so they can find a spot to lounge in.
Every time they jump out of the window papers and cards and pens and boxes tumble onto my floor. Sometimes I resent having cats. I always get stuck caring for them because the person that wanted them is off at a 'real' job and since I'm at home writing, their caretaking ends up on my lap both figuratively and literally.
And yes, they have perfectly good places to nest in other parts of the house but they prefer the room I'm in, whichever room that is.

I'm a dog person but I don't have one because I can't afford one. I had one when I moved in to this situation, but she died of a seizure. Also, I'm too close to other windows. The neighbor's dog's bark and whine and it's hard for me to write and get any work done in my home office, so I don't want a dog that will annoy my neighbor's when we are spitting distance from each other's windows. If I had a house on an acre of land, I'd get a dog in a heartbeat. For now, I have to put up with cats.

Steampunk

Steampunk fascinates me and I really want to get into it more. I had to look it up on wiki to wrap my mind around it, but I love the elements. The goggles, the rivets, the clockworks, the steam engine culture or metal and 1900's and futuristic views. And what's not to love about corsets and goggles and Victorianism meets Sci Fi? I would love to hear others comments on this or preferably a real life group to meet with and help with costuming and inventions and just really cool stuff. I don't even know where to begin beyond Internet research. It reminds me of the Wild Wild West and dirigibles and side cars and that Got Milk game and commercial series and robots and dark and dirty and mysterious cities and Sweeny Todd. That is how Steampunk works in my imagination. Oh yes and James Orwell and the Time Machine. I could be entirely wrong so don't go quoting me on any of this stuff. It's just what my subconcious mind is telling me. And maybe even that Moulin Rouge movie. Yes!

Intenet Wealth

I never even saw my boyfriend this morning because he was so busy getting ready for work. And then at the last moment he comes in here and he's mad at me for ignoring him. I guess I'm supposed to sit there and watch him put his shoes on.

At the risk of offending ice cream truck drivers everywhere, why do they always seem so smarmy to me? Why can't they look like Dick Van Dyke in a bowtie and pink striped button down shirt? If they weren't in that truck selling ice cream to your kids, would you feel safe if your kids went to the beach with them or the mall?

I want my house to be organized but I don't want to do it. I'm so overwhelmed. My stuff is owning me and that's just not right.

Head hurts a little. Maybe I need more than Code Red Mt. Dew for breakfast. Yah think? Blah.

My cats make themselves comfortable regardless. They really have the art of relaxation down, sprawled all over my pillow or curled up inside a box of fabric.

I can't decide if it's going to be cold or hot today and I'm not getting dressed until I figure this out.

My thoughts don't fit into little boxes and I know I'm jumping around a lot but that is rather the point of free association. No telling where this will end up on Google, but it no doubt will because they love original and seemingly non-sensical content, more so than photos. And usually on my photo pages I don't comment much preferring to let the photo speak for itself. But photos speaking do not get you good Google search engine placement. Content does, especially if you are talking about high ticket items like ipods and cellphones and laptops and all that high tech consumer driven commercialism. I don't even have or want an Ipod much less to analyze their features or talk about them. Knowing me, if I had one I'd probably drop it in a pool or down the drain grating because my arms are always full. I'm always trying to juggle a tote bag and a purse and a tackle box and a camera and a journal and sporting goods. I always need more arms and hands. I should be a human octopus. That might help.

And who of you out there thought that all those creative writing, photography and typing courses would come in handy some day. Not only handy but absolutely essential to your success as an Internet tycoon. I know all of you out there, or most of you anyway are hoping to find riches via the Internet and I believe it's possible which is why I have about a zillion blogs and social networking sites and I'm always signing up for new onese even though I have absolutely no way to keep up with the old ones. I would need to clone myself ten times over. But some money is flowing my way because of the Internet so it's working it's working. Now I can probably buy one dollar menu meal a day because of Internet earnings. Look out tummy, here it comes.
Hahahahaha.
Don't forget to laugh today.

The Check is in the Mail

Or is it? Maybe it is laying in the middle of the street with tire marks on it. Luckily the person it was to was at home because she probably needs the money.

The Wake

I just knocked a whole stack of paperwork onto the floor. I can't believe I was up until 3 AM again last night. Creative overload I guess. My phone rang at 2 AM and then again about 20 min. later. No idea who it was.

My friend went to a wake today. A 23 year old friend evidently sat down to watch a VCR and drank himself to death. Passed out and never woke up. And people wonder why I don't drink.

I met a genius on line yesterday. All the brains of a genius and the social skills of a baboon. He had the whole chatroom yelling at him in less than 20 minutes. Spock and Data are his icons, and he went on and on about hypnotic pokemon episodes until I finally went and made another chatroom and left him there to correct people's typos.

Today alone I have made frequent trips to Hubpages, Digg, Twitter, Blogger, and Gmail. Does it ever end? Around and around I go. All this social networking and not a single person in real life that I can have over to tea. I hate this neighborhood and there is really no one I want to befriend in that way. When you have neighbors that pee on the communal dumpster and unscrew the driveway lights so they can do criminal activities, it just doesn't move you to invite them into your yard, you know?

But I'm determined to create beauty no matter how sucky the environment.

Bloggity

Head hurts because I haven't gotten around to breakfast yet and it's noon. Didn't want to eat too early, and then I got busy on line. Trying to make the most of the few hours before it gets bloody hot out. Promise I'll come back after eating and blog some more. Bloggity blog blog. Lost in the bog of blogging.

okay so I'm weird

I'm tired. I've been burning the candle at both ends. I'm sitting in the hypnosis chatroom but no one else is there. So much for my theory that the room would be busy on weekends. I'm so afraid to pay my bills because if I pay these bills I won't be able to pay those bills and those bills might be more important even though they aren't due yet.
The fan is on but I don't even feel it. It's either too far away or pointed at the wrong place. It rained ever so slightly yesterday so now everything is muggy and icky.
I just used a pendulum to find something, and a form of hand scrying. You rub your hands together, and use your palm to pick up the energy of the lost item. And walk towards whatever direction feels warm/buzzes/tingles. Works pretty well.

Friday Brain Drain

Overcast outside like my mood. Hope it rains, but also hope it doesn't because my truck doesn't have windshield wipers. Bird outside is crying out. Usually I hear a lot more birds but maybe they are still fluffed up staying warm in their nests.
Deep breath. Sometimes managing relationships with relatives is so hard. So I'm just staying home. I feel like an inconvenience. I have to work tonight for 2 hours which is good. It will get me out of my head and I will be entertaining others with my geekiness. I just need a crazy hat to wear and a zany outfit. I can do this. Not good to cry before breakfast. I thought food would help balance me but now my tummy is upset. Lots more leaves fell that need to be swept up. I should do it before the rain but I'm not sure I care that much. At least I put my clothes in the washer. Neighbors smoking on the stairs so I had to walk out through stinkville. Thought my boyfriend got a ticket on his truck but it was some stupid car mechanic flyer. Same color as the tickets though. So the whole street probably thinks they got a ticket this morning. I should have ordered business cards. I have none for the sudden gig I got for tonight. I'll just tell people my email addrss. Right, they'll remember that. In one ear and out the other. Deep breath. Yesterday I was so looking forward to today. What happened? Saw a great spiral crochet wig on Flickr. Have to make me one of those. Better than dreads. Funny too. Colorful. Whimsical. Light Hearted. I love my kids I really do but I don't think their husbands like me hanging about. Everyone has their own drama going on. So if they want to see me, they can come here. They know where I live. I shouldn't think about it. It will make me cry again. No crying today. Work to be done. Need a costume I can juggle in for tonight. Need to find my striped socks. Need to paint my face. Have to make the world laugh even if I am crying. That is the unwritten code right? No one wants the juggler crying all over their kids.

I'll feel a little safer.

Nothing screws up my creativity faster than getting bad news. I need to learn to stay balanced or recover quicker when those trying times come. I lost a whole day of productivity to something from my past that is trying to come back and bite me. And it's not even anything I can do anything about. The ball is not in my court as it were. So I need to let this go. And everytime I think I have there goes my mind to pick it apart all over again.
I made scalloped potatoes with ham for dinner. They smell really good. Because of the bad news this morning I lost my apetite until mid afternoon. Then I knew I better eat or keel over and hope the food didn't go right through me again. I was okay after lunch and a nap but now that it is after 9 PM I am very hungry. So as soon as the potatoes cool a bit I am going to eat.
I tried to focus on beauty today. I got a little knitting done and took some photos. But for the most part I didn't get nearly as much done as I did yesterday because my mind just wants to worry. I wish it would stop worrying already. At least I won't be alone tonight which is a good thing. And once I eat maybe I'll feel a little safer.

About this blog

Ever feel like if you could just pin down the thoughts flooding your subconcious you might be able to live a more purposeful life? It helps me so here I am. And yes, this may be complete gibberish to you. Or not.

Hubpages RSS feed

I used to do free association on Hubpages.com but they have much stricter rules now and want content that is more like an essay format. So I've moved my free association blog here, and I will add it as an RSS Feed to my Shuvani account on Hubpages. Stay tuned for more.