Friday Brain Drain

Overcast outside like my mood. Hope it rains, but also hope it doesn't because my truck doesn't have windshield wipers. Bird outside is crying out. Usually I hear a lot more birds but maybe they are still fluffed up staying warm in their nests.
Deep breath. Sometimes managing relationships with relatives is so hard. So I'm just staying home. I feel like an inconvenience. I have to work tonight for 2 hours which is good. It will get me out of my head and I will be entertaining others with my geekiness. I just need a crazy hat to wear and a zany outfit. I can do this. Not good to cry before breakfast. I thought food would help balance me but now my tummy is upset. Lots more leaves fell that need to be swept up. I should do it before the rain but I'm not sure I care that much. At least I put my clothes in the washer. Neighbors smoking on the stairs so I had to walk out through stinkville. Thought my boyfriend got a ticket on his truck but it was some stupid car mechanic flyer. Same color as the tickets though. So the whole street probably thinks they got a ticket this morning. I should have ordered business cards. I have none for the sudden gig I got for tonight. I'll just tell people my email addrss. Right, they'll remember that. In one ear and out the other. Deep breath. Yesterday I was so looking forward to today. What happened? Saw a great spiral crochet wig on Flickr. Have to make me one of those. Better than dreads. Funny too. Colorful. Whimsical. Light Hearted. I love my kids I really do but I don't think their husbands like me hanging about. Everyone has their own drama going on. So if they want to see me, they can come here. They know where I live. I shouldn't think about it. It will make me cry again. No crying today. Work to be done. Need a costume I can juggle in for tonight. Need to find my striped socks. Need to paint my face. Have to make the world laugh even if I am crying. That is the unwritten code right? No one wants the juggler crying all over their kids.